(Do I believer there are any myths about grief?)
The first time someone said to me "I'm really sorry to hear about what happened... But at least you're young!" It really took me by surprise. I think I stood there with a blank look on my face and then walked away.
"At least I'm young"?!?! As if my age has anything to do with this sorrow. As if my age makes it easier to deal with the death of my children?
It took me awhile to realize they (yes, more than one person said that to me) that what they were trying to say was I am young so I can still have more children, but that simple phrase really hurt.
My age has nothing to do with this grief. Grief is grief - pain is pain - sadness is sadness regardless of your age. I know this to be true because I see the grief, pain and sadness in my parents and they're older than me. I know this to be true because I also see moments of grief in J and he's only 6.
You're right, I'm glad I'm young and still "have time" to have more children, but that doesn't make me love or miss Leah, Rachel and Gabriel any less.
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