Where are you in your grief right now? How are you feeling? Are you wrestling with anything? Is your heart heavier or lighter now?
Right now, in this exact moment, I'm happy. Right now, in this moment of my grief, I've accepted and am doing ok - I'd even say I'm doing well. But that doesn't mean that I don't have bad moments or bad days.
But I've learned that it's ok to be happy. It's ok to smile during the storm.
Most days I'm doing well, but then will have very difficult moments where a trigger gets pulled and I lose it. Truly , most of the time I can think of Leah, Rachel and Gabriel and SMILE! I was even able to talk about them and smile and not completely breakdown (progress)
My heart is definitely heavier in good and bad ways. It's heavier because it's taken on more - I'm loving more - than I knew possible. But it's also heavier because the weight of missing them is so much.
But like I said - I know it's ok to be happy, that's why I chose a picture of Andy and I smiling on vacation this summer. We can still love, still smile, still breathe, still stand through this storm...
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